Pedley's Ponderings

I've never worried more about someone I had never met before than I did when my friend Ryan told me his brother had contracted COVID-19.

It was late-April and I had been working from home for the better part of a month. People were still taking the pandemic seriously back then, and most of the state was shut down. It was the same situation across the country – bars, restaurants, movie theaters, playgrounds and everything in between had locked up in an effort to prevent the virus' spread.

That wasn't the case at the New Jersey golf course where Miguel, Ryan's brother, worked as part of the maintenance and grounds crew. Country clubs there were deemed "essential services" and remained open. The decision would wind up costing Miguel his life and as well as two of his coworkers.

Miguel was a Type 1 diabetic, which put him in the high-risk category for COVID-19. He staved off the hospital as long as he could, but was eventually admitted after his illness became more severe. His doctors put him on a ventilator after his conditioned worsened, and though it was removed for a brief time, he was unable to fully recover. He succumbed to his illness on May 29, leaving behind two children, his partner, Jaime, and her three sons.

Ryan's family was understandably devastated by Miguel's death. How could they not be? To lose a loved one because a golf course stayed open during a pandemic is beyond senseless and heartbreaking. They were simply shattered.

"This absolutely sucks for my parents," he told me after Miguel's memorial service, which was held via online video conference. "One of the worst things for them after losing a child is having to watch all these idiots have barbecues, summer block parties and all that kind of stuff."

Ryan was forced to watch Miguel's condition worsen from a far in Idaho, where he resides with his wife and son. To put it mildly, it was frustrating. He couldn't be there for his niece and nephew, nor could he comfort his mom and dad. Only after Miguel's death was he able to return to Iowa to be with his family.

You can't blame Ryan for feeling like he was being mocked as he drove back to the Hawkeye State from Idaho. He passed through a few areas where people were wearing masks, but most folks seemed unaware of the pandemic that was ravaging families like his across the country.

Ryan had plenty of opinions about people ignoring COVID-19 before Miguel's death. Now, it's hard for him to find the words.

"I had a lot to say to those people a month or two months ago, but I don't think that what I have to say matters anymore," he said. "We are the only family here still taking it seriously. We've watched people who had the same opinions that we did go to restaurants the same day they reopened, hang out with friends and go on dates through all of this. In my opinion, that's worse than the people who don't believe in it. At least they don't think they're hurting anybody. It's the people who've thought about this and are ignoring it that really get to me."

Another point of contention for Ryan has been the politics of the pandemic. Far too often has he been forced to deal with people who take posts on social media as gospel while at the same time regarding the advice of public health experts as nonsense.

"I can't believe a mask is a political issue," he said. "People don't let you grieve or experience the situation normally. They have to inject their own politics into it."

The virus isn't about Democrats and it isn't about Republicans. For many Americans – the most vulnerable Americans like Miguel – it's about life and death. Ryan's family is dealing with the latter and trying to pick up the pieces.

We're all sick of this. Everything is canceled, the economy has tanked and people are struggling. But we simply can't ignore the 138,000 Americans who have died because of this virus. We can ease the blow by wearing masks at the store, practicing social distancing and using other simple prevention methods, yet we choose not to. It's tragic and selfish.

The next time you think wearing a mask in public will make you look stupid, think of Miguel, his kids and the pain COVID-19 has caused other families like his. Maybe you'll think twice.

Like Ryan, I tend to think you won't. Cases are spiking dramatically in cities and states across the country yet we hold on to the foolish notion that it could never happen here. Ignorance is bliss until it catches up with you.

Nick Pedley is the news editor of The Hartley Sentinel-The Everly/Royal News.