Pedley's Ponderings

Kaity asked me what I wanted for Christmas a couple weeks ago. I told her new underwear, and I wasn’t joking.

It’s funny how things change over time. I can’t remember the last time I ever really wanted anything for Christmas other than less debt. I don’t think Santa will be cutting me a fat check on Dec. 25, but that’s adulthood for you.

Christmas is for the kids nowadays. Kaity was wringing her hands earlier this month over what to get Oliver and Cece. They already have enough junk, so we wanted to make it count. We’ll see how that pans out. Oliver’s wish list is a mile long and includes living animals, but both of my kids are still at the age where they’re happy with anything they receive. We’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Without further adieu, here’s my annual contrived Christmas wish list.

• Automobile longevity

I have no complaints about my 2012 Ford Focus. I haven’t experienced any major mechanical breakdowns during seven years of ownership, instead only having to replace standard stuff like brakes, tires, a battery and other things that wear out over time.

Still, I feel like I’m on borrowed time. The transmissions in these particular cars are notorious and resulted in a class action lawsuit against Ford a few years back. Apparently they’re made out of twigs and rubber bands, but they must have added some duct tape to mine. It’s held up just fine.

I’m getting anxious, though. My car is approaching 150,000 miles and I’m concerned it will spontaneously combust at some point thanks to the model’s less-than-reputable history. It makes a weird noise when it’s cold out, too, but don’t we all? Nonetheless, the thing is paid off and I’m going to drive it until there are flames coming out from underneath the hood. Here’s to seven more years.

• A timer for my dang Christmas lights

I’m on record in this space for loathing my Christmas lights. They’re a pain in the butt to put up and a pain in the butt to take down.

Making matters worse, they rarely get turned on. I don’t have a timer, so I have to go outside each evening to plug them in and unplug them before I go to bed. They’re hooked up on two outlets on opposite sides of the house, too, which requires a brisk stroll in sub-freezing temps at 11 p.m. before bedtime – no thanks.

Timers would solve this, but I don’t care about the lights enough to buy a pair. Maybe Santa has a few to spare. If not, bah humbug!

• New siding

I was hoping last week’s storm would blow off some of our ancient cedar siding so we could file a claim and put the check towards replacement. No such luck.

Here’s to hoping Santa has room in his bag for an exterior upgrade to our 104-year-old Ocheyedan home. If I’m on the nice list, maybe he’ll even install it.

• Peace and quiet

My kids are at the age where they quarrel nonstop. Every time one of them breathes, it’s a slight against the other. Neither one of them ever finds justice, either.

I admit this wish is a pipedream. That’s all well and good, too, because in the rare chance I find myself at home with nobody else there, I never know what to do.

• Lint rollers

I can always use more of these things. Between our German Shepherd, Bo, and cat, Phyllis, my clothes are rarely rid of hair that isn’t mine.

Kaity thinks I’m a lunatic about this. I stand firm, though, because I think it’s gross when I see people wearing clothes loaded with pet hair. I refuse to succumb to the animals.

I tolerate the dog’s hair because I like her. The cat, not so much. Phyllis’ hair defies gravity and just hovers in the air. It’s gross and I wish she lived in the basement (or on a farm). I still can’t believe I agreed to getting her.

• Peace on earth

Another pipedream here. Things have sort of calmed down since the election last year, but the atmosphere is still pretty gnarly in America and abroad. We’re all sharing this rock and I wish everyone would just shut up for a minute and relax.

Here’s to hoping the Christmas season makes us cool it, if only for a day or two. Merry Christmas to you and yours, and may you all have a wonderful New Year.

Nick Pedley is the news editor of The Hartley Sentinel-The Everly/Royal News.