Pedley's Ponderings

I marked my 31st trip around the sun last Thursday. That’s just a fancy way of saying it’s been 10 years since my last fun birthday party.

I’ve never been particularly fond of my “big day.” There isn’t much to do during the dead of winter, and I don’t really enjoy the added attention. It’s a day that ends in “Y” for me.

That said, my 31st will be one for the record books. I didn’t have reservations at a fancy restaurant or bar, but instead had an afternoon date with the oral surgeon to get a molar pulled and my bottom lip dissected.

Yep, two cringe-worthy medical procedures were all I did to mark Year 31. The tooth that got yanked was my only one with a filling, which cracked last month and caused me considerable pain every time I ate or drank. The lip surgery was to remove an oral mucocele, which is a painless blister of the mucous membrane. You can Google it for more details if you really want.

I admit that I was quite nervous. I don’t need expert attention in my mouth very often – I try to prevent this by brushing twice a day, using mouthwash and flossing regularly. But there was no getting around this one, and when additional dental work on an already bum tooth was suggested, I opted to remove it from my mouth completely instead.

The extraction went much quicker and easier than I expected; the lip issue, not so much. Apparently that takes more time and is decidedly more disturbing to endure while conscious. I’ll spare you any queasier details, but just know that it was gross.

The rest of my day was spent on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I was in for an added birthday treat when the stitches in my lip came out two hours after they were put in. I called the doctor immediately, and he told me that they consider it a success if the stitches last until the patient makes it to the parking lot. I had to hold it shut for 45 minutes and it’s been fine since, but it would have been nice if they had told me this before I left the office.

I slept on the couch for three nights after my surgery because I feared I would accidentally lay on my mouth in my sleep and wake up to a horror movie scene. Thankfully I was able to avoid any incidents, but my back is still a little stiff from the couch.

Everything has been healing fine. It still looks like somebody socked me square in the lip, but I never really felt much pain throughout the ordeal. Thank heavens for local anesthesia and Tylenol, I guess. I’ll count those as my presents because the oral surgeon certainly didn’t give a birthday discount on my bill.

In any case, 31 came and went and now it’s onwards to 32. Though my birthday this year was the pits, the alternative to growing one year older is still much worse than getting a tooth pulled.

Nick Pedley is the news editor of The Hartley Sentinel/The Everly-Royal News.