Pedley's Ponderings

You might excuse me for being a bit scatterbrained of late. Our recent move to Hartley, combined with other normal stressors like children and work, have found me feeling quite proud if I remember to put on my underwear in the morning.

Life is life. The date on this paper tells me it's Thursday, but it might as well be Monday – thank goodness for calendars, because the past few weeks have been a whirlwind.

In any case, here are a few quick hitters that are at the forefront of my grey matter.

• Be gone, clutter

I made minor gains on clearing out some of our cluttered garage last Wednesday. As of this writing, all territory seems to be lost.

On Saturday we had several people over for the Iowa football game. Along with them came 13 kids. The garage quickly became a mess again as the children found several things that fascinated them in the many packed boxes.

I hope to regain some ground this week. I've started shutting my garage doors more often the longer this move-in clutter continues to linger – I'm getting somewhat of a complex about our horde.

• Offended by Iowa's offense

I'm not sure you can find a more boring football team in America than the Iowa Hawkeyes. At 3-2, the Black and Gold will be lucky to find three more wins on the schedule to be eligible for the 2022 Toilet Bowl sponsored by Charmin.

I can't print the several thousand swear words that are necessary to describe the Hawkeyes' offense – I don't have the space, and this is a family newspaper. But if changes in personnel and players aren't made at the end of the season, Hawk fans should get their pitchforks and torches ready.

I am so blasé about my beloved Hawks this year. I find no emotional spark when I think about the next game, and it honestly feels like Kirk and Brian Ferentz are mocking the entire fan base by trotting out this offense every week while pretending the dumpster isn't on fire.

Also, how is Iowa's offensive line somehow worse than last season? This program is starting to feel staler than three-week-old bread.

• Losing touch

The boy is in kindergarten this year and as much as I hate to admit it, he's gaining ground on me.

Last week I told him to eat two more bites of his breakfast. As always, math was my enemy.

"Two bites of waffle," I said, "and two bites of sausage."

"But that's four bites," he responded.

My days of smoke-screen parenting seem to be numbered. All these white lies are being snuffed out by a 5-year-old doing simple math, and I've never been clever enough to defeat basic addition.

• Soup season

Like many folks, fall is my favorite season. I don't have much of a palate for pumpkin spice, but I enjoy the cool weather, football, beautiful colors and food.

Sunday proved to be my first big fall kickoff in the kitchen. I made two soups – cheeseburger and lasagna – to start soup season. I could live off soup all year, but my better half tells me that's ludicrous.

What are your favorites? Other than the two mentioned above, I love a good chili and also hold veggie beef close to my heart.

• A familiar foe falls again

Though I may not be able to outwit a 5-year-old, I can still thump a rodent.

Kaity and I faced sporadic battles with mice in our Ocheyedan home. The last bout came this summer following a four-year no-mouse streak, but I trapped the little bugger in quick fashion to regain law and order.

We were welcomed by a furry friend at our new place within two weeks of moving here. It was an audacious fellow, too – the mouse scurried across the kitchen floor in front of God and about six people one Saturday night while all the lights were on. That's not to mention our worthless cat, Phyllis, who apparently couldn't muster the mental capacity to eliminate the intruder.

I set four traps in the kitchen where we saw it. I also set one behind the washer and dryer. After more than a week, we didn't even have bait missing.

We thought our unwanted guest had moved on until Monday night. Our German Shepherd, Bo, started pawing behind the washer, which led us to discover the corpse of our adversary deceased in the trap that I had completely forgotten about.

Thankfully the dog alerted us to the dead mouse before it started to stink. Meanwhile, if anyone wants a cat that doesn't catch mice and is completely oblivious to their existence, I have one available at a deep discount.

Nick Pedley is the news editor and ad manager of The Hartley Sentinel-The Everly/Royal News.