Pedley's Ponderings

My muted contempt for the Christmas season has not lightened as the holiday approaches. This time of year is hectic for everyone, and it just seems like it gets worse and worse. Maybe it’s just my attitude, which has admittedly aged like milk.

Nonetheless, I did get my lights hung outside a couple weeks ago. Since I had already been up on the roof cleaning gutters the Sunday prior, I put in a subpar effort on the lights. That’s not my grade of the job, though – it’s my wife’s.

There was supposed to be two sets of bush lights that drape over our front-facing vegetation. Unfortunately, my snow blower ate one two years ago and dropped the census down to a single set. Forced to adjust, I found a different bush on the west side of our landscaping and plopped it down.

From there I started lining our garage doors with colored LED lights. These are much more durable than the collection at our old house, as I didn’t break a single one while hanging them. I traced each doorframe, but ran out before I could get to our porch gutters. I shrugged and stopped there, as there was no other option.

The whole job took around 20 minutes as opposed to several hours in past efforts. I was more than pleased – I didn’t have to jockey a ladder, fight wind and deal with broken bulbs or popped fuses.

Kaity’s review of my work quickly flipped the script. She informed me that it wasn’t what she wanted, even though she never exactly outlined her desired setup. I didn’t really care anyway – I can’t hang what I don’t have.

A stroll through my neighborhood reveals much better displays than the one at our homestead. Good for them – I’m happy to set the bar low so that others may excel.

I’ve also submitted to leaving my lights on mostly all the time. As you might have gathered, it’s not because I’m full of Christmas joy – I simply never remember to turn them off, and once I do, I never remember to turn them on. My grandma gave me some timers to use a few years ago, but I don’t know which storage tote they’re hiding in. Any motivation to find them is standardly fleeting.

I’m by no means trying to suck others’ joy for the season away like a Grinch. My kids are anxiously awaiting Santa’s arrival, and daily “Elf on the Shelf” updates keep their eyes on the prize. As long as the threat of no presents works to coax good behavior out of those little devils, I’ll do it.

The reality is that Christmas is on its way until it’s over. I still have presents to buy and other things to accomplish, but my procrastination is choking. It’s a holiday tradition on par with stockings hung on the chimney. I’m still waiting for the spirit of the season to move me, but here I sit.

While I wish this column were more uplifting with tales of sugarplums prancing through the snow and whatnot, it is what it is. I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas filled with joy, love and laughter. Though I despise the lead up to the holiday, I do cherish time spent with family and friends. I suppose that’s much more important than gifts, lights and all the other stress.

As the line from the Christmas classic goes...

“Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of 10 Grinches, plus two!”

I don’t know if this crusty editor’s heart will grow three sizes come Dec. 25, but the spirit of the season will get to me eventually; if only for a brief 24 hours or less.

Have a Merry Christmas.

Nick Pedley is the news editor and ad manager of The Hartley Sentinel-The Everly/Royal News.